Angry Bird
posted on: 2020-09-05

Jim Eggers has an anger problem. Jim once dented a woman’s car with his first. He poured steaming hot coffee on somebody’s head. He’s even threatened to kill people. During the heyday of the Catholic Church sex scandal, Eggers was convinced the local archbishop was covering up pedophilia (he wasn’t) and threatened to murder the man. Jim suffers from bipolar disorder with psychotic tendencies. Back in the day, you did not want to get on his bad side. However, he’s doing a whole lot better these days, totally thanks to Sadie, an African gray parrot. In 2005, shortly after the Archbishop Incident, Jim rescued Sadie from a bad environment. Her previous owner was just a kid and didn’t take care of the poor bird. Incredibly stressed, Sadie started tearing her own feathers out, but fortunately, Jim was a big animal lover and nursed the bird back to health. And Sadie returned the favor. Oftentimes, when Jim felt his mood starting to swing, when his vision blurred and his whole entire body started to quiver, right before he went into rage monster mode, he would pace back and forth in his apartment, muttering things like, “It’s okay, Jim. Calm down, Jim. You’re all right, Jim.” Usually, it helped him get a lid on all that anger. One day, as he started to hulk out, Sadie started squawking, “It’s okay, Jim. Calm down, Jim. You’re all right, Jim.” Sadie’s words were incredibly soothing, so Jim gave the parrot treats every time she calmed him down. And Sadie developed some sort of sixth sense. According to Jim, she started to sense his mood swings before he even got angry. Somehow, she could tell he was growing irritated, and she’d whisper, “Calm down, Jim.” Ever since then, Jim has carried Sadie wherever he goes. He even bought a special purple backpack that carries a cage. Whenever he needs to go to the store or ride the bus, he takes Sadie along, bumping against his back, and if something ever ticks him off, she’s right there, ready to squawk, “It’s okay, Jim.”

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